Vinny wants to wish you a happy birthday

Vinny likes ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins...write that down.

The biennial Boise State Auction is fast approaching so bust out your paddles. The auction, which raises money for academic and athletic scholarships, picked the "something for everyone" as the them of this year's event...and according to the Broncosports.com press release, they mean everyone.

Items for bid include a game football used in Boise State’s historic BCS Fiesta Bowl victory over Oklahoma in 2007 autographed by Ian Johnson and a golf outing with former Bronco and current Green Bay Packer Korey Hall.

Ooh, Fiesta Bowl memorabilia AND an afternoon of awkward conversation about divots and mulligans with Korey Hall? Decisions, decisions.

But what else can I bid on?

Poinsettia Bowl logo’d Tommy Hilfanger Watch

Tommy Hilfanger? Is this like the Rolix watch that I bought in Tijuana? And who wouldn't want a watch commemorating a heart-wrenching one-point loss?

Anything else?

A birthday party with Bronco football graduate Vinny Perretta

I'm confused. Are you attending Vinny's birthday party? Is he attending you or your kids' birthday? Will he be providing entertainment for said birthday or just awkwardly sitting in the corner while your family reminisces about how you used to wet the bed? I know what I'd be doing if I was attending a complete stranger's birthday party—and it more closely resembles the latter (but with more cold sweat and tremors). Screw it, I'm bidding on this one...hope you like Chuck E. Cheese, Vinny.

Online auction [www.boisestateauction.com]
Press release [BroncoSports]