So long and thanks for all the towels

(Cue sad Incredible Hulk music) Hal Mumme has been canned at New Mexico State and towels around the state are flying at half mast. Mumme was 11-38 during his tenure at NMSU, including an awesome 1-7 WAC finish this year, getting blown out by Utah State in their finale. Maybe SMU is looking for a blowhard offensive coordinator.

Story

Know your enemy (for this week, anyway)

Trump called...he digs your hair

Boise State heads to Las Cruces on Saturday to take on Hal Mumme and his Air Raid offense. The Broncos are coming off a hard fought win over a legit San Jose State team, the Aggies are coming off a demoralizing loss to the Vandals. Most fans, like me, know little about New Mexico State outside of Polo Gutierrez and his foot-filled mouth. Needless to say, there is a lot to be learned about this week's foe (don't worry, Kellen Moore already knows their defense intimately)...so let's explore through the magic of factoids and childish jokes about Hal Mumme. For the mutual benefit of the Aggie faithful, I will let you get to know us a little bit too...so take notes.

Ten things Bronco fans might not know about New Mexico State

10. NMSU coach Hal Mumme has developed a series of instructional DVDs on the intricacies of the "Air Raid" offense (you can get all 3 for only $109.99). According to Mumme, "the beauty of the Air Raid Offense is that players love to play this offense and fans flock to see it". I apologize to anyone that was mid-sip on their daily beverage. Order now!

9. Hal Mumme is in love with Hawaii. In 2006, he openly stated that Hawaii was the best team in the league (over eventual 13-0 Boise State), voted for June Jones as WAC coach of the year (though Chris Petersen won National Coach of the Year) and last year was the only coach to vote the Warriors number one in USA Today poll. Get a room, you two.

8. The founder and first president of New Mexico State University was Hiram Hadley. Hiram Hadley wished to see "3 principal items" accomplished in his lifetime: National Prohibition, Women's Suffrage and International Peace. Hadley died in 1922, and as such, lived to see two of those 3 items come to fruition. Item number 4, "Never hire Hal Mumme", which was scrawled on a lost piece of parchment, was sadly discovered far too late in 2006.

7. New Mexico State is home to the world's hottest chile pepper. In 2006, NMSU professor Paul Bosland discovered the Bhut Jolokia pepper, which measures at 1,001,304 Scoville Heat Units (SHU). For comparison, an average jalapeño pepper measure 10,000 SHU. Last year during the ESPN broadcast of the NMSU/UNR game, annoying sideline reporter extraordinaire Rob Stone decided to give it a little taste test.

6. New Mexico State has never lost a bowl game. Of course, they've only been to three, and none since 1960—but still, no one can away their 1960 Sun Bowl victory over Utah State, their 1959 Sun Bowl victory over North Texas or their 1936 tie with Hardin-Simmons in, you guessed it, the Sun Bowl.

5. The New Mexico State head coach with the best winning percentage was Arthur H. Badenoch, who won 86% of his games between the years of 1910 and 1913 (4 seasons). Badenoch also coached the NMSU basketball team during those years, but had less success—posting only 3 wins and 22 losses.

4. At the Whole Enchilada Fiesta in early October, the city of Las Cruces makes the world's largest enchilada. Afterwards, the city then takes the world's largest Alka Seltzer.

3. The outlaw Billy the Kid resided in Las Cruces for a portion of his short life, as did his killer, lawman Pat Garrett. Popular legend suggests that Garrett killed Billy the Kid by feeding him a portion of the world's largest enchilada and then lighting a match near his residence.

2. Well before the Air Raid sirens went off, New Mexico State actually had a run game. In 1998, running back Denvis Manns rushed for 1,469 yards...still an Aggie record. In fact, Manns was only the 3rd ever NCAA runningback to rush for at least 1,000 yards in four consecutive seasons. Despite Manns' offensive prowess, he never enjoyed a winning season as an Aggie...a feat that Chase Holbrook is sure to match.

1. In 1912, the Aggie football team defeated Fort Bliss, TX 116-0. Apparently, the football team at Fort Bliss were all 4-F.

Ten things Aggie fans might not know about Boise State

10. Hollywood director Michael Hoffman is a Boise State alum and was the school's first Rhodes Scholar. He won two Oscars for the film Restoration, but I think his finest work is the documentary film Out of the Blue, which is about Boise State's undefeated 2006 season...oops, I just spoiled the ending.

9. Cornerback Kyle Wilson's older brother Gerry, a Princeton grad, is the founder and CEO of Yoonew.com, the world's first futures exchange for event tickets. Basically you can guarantee yourself a ticket to the big game if your team makes it. Weird, a search of the term "Idaho Vandals" offers no results on the site.

8. In 1982 Jay Luo received his bachelors in mathematics from Boise State University. No biggie, right? Wrong...he was only 12 years old. When I was 12 I beat Super Mario Bros. 3. I think we all know who made the bigger accomplishment there, am I right?

7. The founder and CEO of Money Tree Payday Loans, Dennis Bassford, is a Boise State alum. Now you know who to punch for unleashing the Money Tree caterpillar upon the world*.

6. Astronaut and "Teacher in Space" Barbara Morgan holds an honorary doctorate from Boise State and is a Distinguished Educator in Residence. Morgan was Christa McAuliffe's backup on the ill-fated Challenger shuttle voyage. While in space, Morgan was able to see the great pyramids, the great wall of China, and the hole in the ozone caused by Hal Mumme's overuse of Aqua Net.

5. One of the most famous moments in NCAA tournament history happened in Boise State's basketball arena (formerly the Pavilion, now Taco Bell Arena) when UCLA's Tyus Edny drove the length of the floor in the closing seconds and nailed a layup to defeat Missouri in 1995. There was a memorable game in the WAC tournament in Las Cruces last year too, but I forget how that one ended.

4. Werner Hoeger, a Boise State professor of excercise physiology competed for his native Venezuela in the 2006 Torino Olympics in the luge event. Hoeger was the flag-bearer for Venezuela and, at 52, was the oldest individual competitor at the games. Hoeger, rather than gracing a Wheaties box, was featured on a box of Centrum Silver.

3. The city of Boise has the largest concentration of Basques outside of the Pyrenees mountains. As such, Boise also has a large concentration of unpronouncable last names.

2. Pokey Allen came to Boise State in 1993 and turned a 3-8 squad into a 13-2 squad playing in the 1-AA national championship. Pokey got sick with cancer soon after and missed almost all of the 1996 season, Boise State's first in Division 1-A. The Broncos were 2-10 that year and Pokey missed the first 10 games while undergoing treatment. He returned and coached the last two games of that year...his last win as Bronco head coach was in Las Cruces against the Aggies. Pokey died a little over a month later.

1. Boise State has been shutout only twice in football, the last coming against Washington State in 1997. Boise State registered two shutouts over their opponents just last year. 20 of Boise State's 24 opponent shutouts since 1968 have occurred at home. Their most lopsided win ever? The first ever game on the blue turf: a 74-0 win over Humboldt State which answered once and for all the question, "can Hippies play football?"

Well, now we know a bit more about each other. Enough fraternizing...let's get ready to RRRUMMBLE!**

* FFBSU does not condone violence...well maybe a little.
** No, Michael Buffer, I don't owe you a cent.

Bronco Nation Podcast 10-29-08

I think it goes without saying that J Bates is the only local sports personality with a personality...so we grabbed him for last night's podcast and let the fur fly. I did my best JT impersonation this week and hosted the show while the real JT nursed a sore throat and Buck, J, and I hashed out the WAC week in review, the San José State game, Hal Mumme's overwhelming Mumme-ness, and whether or not Austin Pettis is actually human. Listen up.

 The Bronco Nation Podcast - Marco Polo [36:22m]: Hide Player | Play in Popup | Download

Fightin' words

"The world's most dangerous marching band"

This week's opponent, the New Mexico State Aggies, have a rich tradition of losing, Bill Gates rich. Seriously, they haven't been to a bowl game since JFK was in office. But why do the Aggies struggle so mightily on the field? Well, I put all of FFBSU's resources into analyzing the Aggies' dire situation and, in a "Eureka moment", found the culprit of their futility: the fight song. Let's break down the lyrics of their depressing anthem and see if we can get to the heart of the problem, shall we?

Aggies, Oh Aggies

Try to recite this first line without having Barry Manilow's Mandy popping into your head.

The hills send back the cry

That's called an echo...not the first thing you want to hear in a football stadium.

We're here to do or die

Those are the only two options? Must've been a lot of fatalities after losing to Idaho on Saturday.

Aggies, Oh Aggies

...you came and you gave without takin'...

We'll win this game or know the reason why

The reason why? Hal Mumme is our coach.

And when we win this game

I think the word you're looking for is "if".

We'll buy a keg of booze

Can we see your collective IDs?

And we'll drink to the Aggies

Just don't take a shot every time Hal Mumme wipes his nose on camera...very bad for the liver.

Till we wobble in our shoes

Friends don't let friends party in Las Cruces.

A-G-G-I-E-S

This part is a public service benefitting the adult literacy program.

Aggies, Aggies, go Aggies

Aggies aggies aggies...

Aggies, Oh Aggies

...well you kissed me and stopped me from shakin'...

The hills send back the cry

The hills were angry that day, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli...

We're here to do or die

The latter, if you don't mind.

Aggies, Oh Aggies

...but I sent you away, Oh Aggies...

We'll win this game or know the reason why!

Yeah!

Why, I haven't seen such an inspiring ditty since Ronnie James Dio's Holy Diver. Fix this, Aggies, and your troubles may be behind you. You may want to give recruiting, coaching, facilities, offensive coordinator, defensive coordinator, uniforms, and conference a close look also.

Mission Critical—New Mexico State preview

Part 3 of our WAC football preview is here. A little earlier than it should've been maybe, but OBNUG is snagging all the BSU camp stuff and I was getting bored. Today we preview the vaunted New Mexico State Aggies. They've got offensive talent, a boorish head coach and a redneck sounding D-coordinator...this should be good.

Hal Mumme is a man on a mission. After successfully completing several other missions, that included: Feathering his hair like a majestic bird, blowing snot-rockets on national television, and making people uncomfortable at WAC media events—Mumme has refocused his efforts this season on simply keeping his job. Mumme is a complicated man...a man who likes to wear lettermen's jackets and drape snotrags towels over his shoulder. He also likes to lose football games. BUT that is all changing this year...you see, Hal Mumme has a 'gut feeling' that this year's Aggie team will be successful. And if we know anything about Hal Mumme, it's that his gut feelings are usually correct. Let's see what they're up against.

Hooray mediocrity!
The Aggies return 15 starters from last season (and Chase Holbrook returns nearly all of his teeth), when they went 4-9...so you know those seasoned vets know how to lose quite well. Eight of those returners are on offense...an offense that is equal parts excellent under the guidance of senior QB Chase Holbrook...and terrible (might wanna check this out again). WR Chris Williams is a legitimate stud for the Aggies. He may be small, but he is fast and has soft hands. Williams had 772 yards receiving and 11 TDs in 2007 and he only played in 8 freakin' games! Chase Holbrook, when healthy...can really spread the ball around and routinely puts up big numbers and high passing percentages. Last season, a letdown by Holbrook's standards—he still managed to throw for almost 4,000 yards and toss 26 TDs. The headscratcher here is that they only won 4 games. Why? Well, no rushing game to speak of is a good start. The Aggies top rushers from 2007 combined for only 1,037 yards and 7 TDs. "They're a passing team", you'll say. But that doesn't matter, the Aggies are too predictable on offense—they have to get some production from their backs or Holbrook has to do too much. The Aggies put up an amazing -19 yards rushing against BSU last year. That's not good.

Defense wins championships...that's why NMSU has none.
New Mexico State's defense was ranked 94th in the country last year—giving up 430 yards per contest. That number looks pretty good, however, when you consider that, in scoring defense, the Aggies were ranked 107th. These dubious rankings were enough for the Aggies to jettison defensive coordinator Woody Widenhofer (I'm not kidding),a guy who looked like the "time to make the donuts" guy and coached like him too, and bring in Joe Lee Dunn, a former Memphis D-coordinator, who worked wonders for the Tigers' D in the early 90's. Dunn enjoyed (maybe that's too strong a word) stints in the SEC as well, bringing his defensive skillz to programs like Arkansas and Mississippi. Whether Dunn will be able to resurrect the Aggies' D remains to be seen, but expect some growing pains this year for the squad as they try to wrap their heads around his 3-3-5 defense. If Dunn can turn the Aggie D around...the Aggies can make good strides—that is, until Holbrook and Williams graduate and the Aggies' one-dimensional offense stinks again.

Whuzzit mean?
Part of me really dislikes Hal Mumme (the part that comprises 99% of me)—so I'd like to see him get his sycophantic hieny kicked on a weekly basis. I love having coaches like Hal "the towel" in our conference because otherwise, it is really hard to get up for these layup games against the WAC bottom-feeders. Chase Holbrook is a fringe NFL guy and the Aggies certainly have some talent on offense...but until they abandon that gimmicky "Air Raid" offense and start playing some smashmouth football, they're going to continue to eek out 3 and 4 wins seasons. They get the Broncos in Las Cruces this year, so it should be a bit more interesting than the last tussle (wanna see this one more time?), but I think that the Crimson Aggies will only manage 5 wins this season against Nicholls State, UTEP, Idaho, La Tech and Utah State. Sadly, this will be enough for Hal Mumme to stick around...but on the bright side, this will be enough for Hal Mumme to stick around.

In short, watching Aggie football is a lot like watching this commercial:

It hurts.

WAC film comparisons

WAC media days are over (great wrap-up by OBNUG here) and fall camp is tantalizingly close...so what better way to kill some more time than by putting together an arbitrary list comparing WAC teams to their film counterparts.

Movie content, plot and general awesomeness/crappiness were NOT considered...just throwing up puns here.

Utah State— Superbad

Idaho— The Devil's Advocate

New Mexico State— The Other Sister

Hawaii— You Only Live Once

Fresno State— Almost Famous

Nevada— The Way We Were

Louisiana Tech— Southern Comfort

San Jose State— Closer

Boise State— Best of the Best

Got more? Think yours are better? Email fightfightbsu@gmail.com or comment.