Why the hate?

As a young boy, I thought the University of Idaho wasn't so bad. I grew up in Boise and liked the Broncos, but would root for the Vandals when I saw them play. I had aunts and uncles who attended the University of Idaho and a couple that actually played on their sports teams. As a naive child it seemed to me that Idaho and Boise State were separated by geography alone. Then I grew up, as we all do, and realized that much more separate Boise State and Idaho than geography. The Broncos, quite frankly, are winners...and well, the Vandals are losers...and I don't just mean in a statistical or historical way (although the stats will back up this assertion). But alas, I am still a relatively young buck and can scarcely recall "the streak", Johnelle John L. Smith, or John Friesz—so I thought it best to solicit the older Bronco fans out there to find out just how deep the hatred runs. Turns out: pretty deep. Screen names were provided to protect the innocent from Vandal drive-bys, which we've heard are known to happen.

ADBill

I am sure you are aware that first game, the DAVs* tried to duck Boise College and were forced to play us.

Prior to the game their coach said the 1st half would be more like a scrimmage and in the second half they would embarrass Boise (You guessed it, the Vandals lost).

The third game was the first one played in Moscow. That same coach Robbins, led the Vandals through the Boise locker room singing "Kiss my Ass BJC" (classy). This cost the (Vandals) the game—the Vandals were heavy favorites and the Broncos didn't think they could win, but that stunt was all that was needed to get Boise on the winning track. My source was Al Davis a Boise player and starter.

Broncobadger

The Vandals used to control the SBOE when I was a kid (in the 50's). No matter what we (BSU) or ISU for that matter tried to do to improve ourselves or grow.....the Vanholes would squash it.....add to that the never ending string of scandals and lies to come out of that cesspool up north and you will have a damn thick novel not a story. There is too much for anyone here to jot down in an email. Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it. Every BSU student should really go back to the early days of the school and the state of Idaho and understand just what kind of people you are dealing with. Some of you young guys don't understand why some of us older guys hate the Vandals so much....well I will "F'ing" gar-un-tee you that it is well deserved and make no mistake they hate us.....they have always hated us, and they have tried since BSU was formed to shut us down.

I have never considered this a rivalry; even when I was a child.....I have always viewed it as some kind of twisted punishment that we have to have anything to do with those A-holes. I do not care to associate with criminals and scum, yet the state of Idaho makes us do that every time we have to come into contact with those losers.

What goes around comes around and the Vanholes are now reaping what they have sown. They could have taken the high road and been the flagship institution in this state but instead they chose the low road and they deserve every rotten thing that happens to them.

Tell us how you really feel, badger.

Flashypaws

In a nutshell...the Vandals have always percieved themselves as a superior breed. I don't know why exactly, but Idaho alums talk about U of I like it's the Harvard or Yale of the northwest. It wouldn't be so bad, but once you realize how self-centered, and self-righteous, and self-congratulatory, and self-aggrandizing, and self-absorbed, and dumb most of these guys are...well, the hate just comes natural.

It's the feeling you'd have if Richard Simmons billed himself as one of the greatest athletes of the 20th century. You'd wanna pick him up by the hair and slap him until he cried. They should just drop back into AA, and disappear, as far as I'm concerned.

Make no mistake, this isnt a rivalry, its a class war, and when it comes to class, BSU has it, and U of I never will.

Richard Simmons isn't one of the greatest athletes of the 20th century?

Some Broncos take exception to the 1996 game that saw the Chris Tormey-led Vandals running up the score on an in-his-final-days Pokey Allen and the Broncos. They even ran a fake punt when they were up by nearly 50 points.

Me personally? I don't like the drunken frat boys that come to the games at Bronco Stadium and try to pick fights in the student section. I don't like the book-cooking that the Vandals do with their pathetic home attendance numbers. I don't like sleeping porches or beefcake photos. I don't like Dennis Erickson, Johnelle John L. Smith, Chris Tormey, Tom Cable, Nick Holt or Robb Akey. That's right...I don't like Robb Akey—the hybrid of Alex P. Keaton's dad on Family Ties and the neighbor from Office Space. I do like Rob Spear, though. Stay gold, Rob...stay gold (and please NEVER leave Moscow).

*DAV=Dog Ass Vandals, apparently Tony Knap rallied the troops and coined this term after the Vandal locker room hijinx in 1973.

Vandals turning on themselves

This scathing editorial cartoon appeared in the latest issue of U of I's Argonaut. Hey...that's Argo-naut very nice! yet completely accurate.

Zing!

Al Davis now certifiably insane...

The Oakland Raiders love to lose. How else can you explain their bizarre draft picks, their complete feebleness on the field and their pitiful string of hires (Jon Gruden notwithstanding)? The Al Davis Experience took another painful U-turn today...replacing youngster Lane Kiffin with...ready...Tom Cable! They say when life shuts one door it opens a window...well get ready to open the windows, Raider fans because it's going to start to stink. Learning nothing from history or the utter failures of other Vandal head coaches (Scott Linehan?), Al Davis saw fit to turn the reins of a once storied program over to the guy that was too inept even for the Vandals. If I didn't grow up a Raiders fan, I would be positively gleeful.

Maybe I'm overreacting a touch...I mean, Cable did win 11 games for the Vandals which is about 11 times more wins than Robb Akey can muster. Nope...Al Davis needs a straight jacket over that jogging suit.

Raiders 'need' Cable [SFGate]

Cheerleadergate claims first victim

Gimme a 3...an 8...and a 7.5!

The University of Idaho cheerleader drama has now been holding the nation hostage for over a week...and it has finally claimed it's first victim (second, if you count 'credibility'). The pleather-clad cheerleading squad's skipper, Cassie Helm, has formally announced her resignation over the affair:

Helm, who teaches aerobics and gymnastics, said she resigned because of the school administrations more conservative vision for the spirit squad.

As you may have heard, John McCain has suspended his presidential campaign and is en route to Moscow to help bring a resolution to this "national crisis". For those not in the know...the Vandal cheerleaders had their racy, Bavarian-style cheerleading unis confiscated last week after an uproar on the Palouse. The cheerleaders took the loss of their uniforms with dignity and grace...

Helm said some cheerleaders told her they cried after a meeting in which the uniforms were confiscated. “Kids aren’t crying if they hate something,” the ex-coach said.

Vandal football players and fans alike joined in sob-fest after losing, badly, to Utah State on Saturday. More fallout and bloodshed are bound to occur in upcoming weeks so brace yourselves because more hissy fits are surely on the horizon. The saddest part of this whole thing?

(cheerleader Heidi) Lyons said the uniform switch deprived the squad its goal to excite the crowd at football games.

You brazen hussies...in my day, "Boom goes the dynamite" was enough to whip the crowd into a frenzy.

University of Idaho is ranked

No, I this is not the Bizarro world where up is down and Vandals are Broncos...looky at this top-15 ranking pulled down by the Vandals on Google Trends today. The University of Idaho has been riding the wave of uniform controversies for weeks now and have finally settled in just under "naked cyclist". Way to go, tribe from the North...you are one more controversy (and maybe a sleeping porch mishap) from the top 10!

Sophomoric humor gets results

It seems that the Vandals butt logo situation has been...wait for it..."rectified" *snicker*. The Vandal logo debacle, it seems, went all the way to the top this week and Rob Spear, as expected, blamed everyone else:

"They're saying we signed off on it. We did sign off on it, but the actual design of the uniforms were changed,"

Spears says that the logo was supposed to be higher up on the pants, near the "beltline"...but apparently conspirators at Nike decided to move the logo to a decidely funnier location. I'm sure that's what happened...yep. Spears went on to add (most likely with tears welling in his eyes):

"I was disappointed with the look and the appearance. We didn't realize how noticeable it would be until it was on our players,"

Well, we all didn't realize how terrible Idaho would be this year either until we saw them take the field in Arizona. Keep the stories coming, Vandals...I've got a family to support and all the Adsense revenue that I get from embarassing Vandal stories allows me to feed my family.

Vandals say "sit on it"

The fashionistas in Moscow have topped themselves once again. Not content to humiliate themselves in Arizona by the score alone...the Vandals also trotted out their new jerseys on Saturday and...well...their new pants put their logo in a rather...interesting location. Examine the above pic and see if you can find it...it's like a Where's Waldo? book.

Well done, Vandals...and we thought that this was embarassing:


Or this.

Phil Knight is chuckling loudly somewhere.

Mission Critical—New Mexico State preview

Part 3 of our WAC football preview is here. A little earlier than it should've been maybe, but OBNUG is snagging all the BSU camp stuff and I was getting bored. Today we preview the vaunted New Mexico State Aggies. They've got offensive talent, a boorish head coach and a redneck sounding D-coordinator...this should be good.

Hal Mumme is a man on a mission. After successfully completing several other missions, that included: Feathering his hair like a majestic bird, blowing snot-rockets on national television, and making people uncomfortable at WAC media events—Mumme has refocused his efforts this season on simply keeping his job. Mumme is a complicated man...a man who likes to wear lettermen's jackets and drape snotrags towels over his shoulder. He also likes to lose football games. BUT that is all changing this year...you see, Hal Mumme has a 'gut feeling' that this year's Aggie team will be successful. And if we know anything about Hal Mumme, it's that his gut feelings are usually correct. Let's see what they're up against.

Hooray mediocrity!
The Aggies return 15 starters from last season (and Chase Holbrook returns nearly all of his teeth), when they went 4-9...so you know those seasoned vets know how to lose quite well. Eight of those returners are on offense...an offense that is equal parts excellent under the guidance of senior QB Chase Holbrook...and terrible (might wanna check this out again). WR Chris Williams is a legitimate stud for the Aggies. He may be small, but he is fast and has soft hands. Williams had 772 yards receiving and 11 TDs in 2007 and he only played in 8 freakin' games! Chase Holbrook, when healthy...can really spread the ball around and routinely puts up big numbers and high passing percentages. Last season, a letdown by Holbrook's standards—he still managed to throw for almost 4,000 yards and toss 26 TDs. The headscratcher here is that they only won 4 games. Why? Well, no rushing game to speak of is a good start. The Aggies top rushers from 2007 combined for only 1,037 yards and 7 TDs. "They're a passing team", you'll say. But that doesn't matter, the Aggies are too predictable on offense—they have to get some production from their backs or Holbrook has to do too much. The Aggies put up an amazing -19 yards rushing against BSU last year. That's not good.

Defense wins championships...that's why NMSU has none.
New Mexico State's defense was ranked 94th in the country last year—giving up 430 yards per contest. That number looks pretty good, however, when you consider that, in scoring defense, the Aggies were ranked 107th. These dubious rankings were enough for the Aggies to jettison defensive coordinator Woody Widenhofer (I'm not kidding),a guy who looked like the "time to make the donuts" guy and coached like him too, and bring in Joe Lee Dunn, a former Memphis D-coordinator, who worked wonders for the Tigers' D in the early 90's. Dunn enjoyed (maybe that's too strong a word) stints in the SEC as well, bringing his defensive skillz to programs like Arkansas and Mississippi. Whether Dunn will be able to resurrect the Aggies' D remains to be seen, but expect some growing pains this year for the squad as they try to wrap their heads around his 3-3-5 defense. If Dunn can turn the Aggie D around...the Aggies can make good strides—that is, until Holbrook and Williams graduate and the Aggies' one-dimensional offense stinks again.

Whuzzit mean?
Part of me really dislikes Hal Mumme (the part that comprises 99% of me)—so I'd like to see him get his sycophantic hieny kicked on a weekly basis. I love having coaches like Hal "the towel" in our conference because otherwise, it is really hard to get up for these layup games against the WAC bottom-feeders. Chase Holbrook is a fringe NFL guy and the Aggies certainly have some talent on offense...but until they abandon that gimmicky "Air Raid" offense and start playing some smashmouth football, they're going to continue to eek out 3 and 4 wins seasons. They get the Broncos in Las Cruces this year, so it should be a bit more interesting than the last tussle (wanna see this one more time?), but I think that the Crimson Aggies will only manage 5 wins this season against Nicholls State, UTEP, Idaho, La Tech and Utah State. Sadly, this will be enough for Hal Mumme to stick around...but on the bright side, this will be enough for Hal Mumme to stick around.

In short, watching Aggie football is a lot like watching this commercial:

It hurts.

Leaked photos from Vandal Camp

Quarterback Nathan Enderle exhibits the Vandals new secret weapon, "the Forward Pass"


Placekicker Tino Amancio works on his craft


Walk-on Fullback Hughey Gold poses briefly for the assembled press before taking to the practice field


Just across from the practice field, the Kibbie Dome looms. Quiet...for now.


The new Vandal O-line has finally added some bulk up-front


A Vandal H-back darts his way through defenders as several other nap quietly on the field


Coach Robb Akey poses in full regalia in his office prior to the morning session

Did you hear the one about the Vandals?

Part 2 of our WAC football preview is here (remember, we're starting from the bottom), and this time we brought in the big guns. Kevan Lee from OBNUG was kind enough to write this glowing send up of those loveable losers—the University of Idaho Vandals. We're glad that someone out there also thinks that Robb Akey looks like the dad from Family Ties (but with the social graces of the neighbor from Office Space). Adam Korby looks a little like Tina Yothers, too. No?

Robb Akey's mustache has seen a lot of things: the sidelines of Washington State, coaching stops at Northern Arizona and Weber State, and enough Just for Men to drown a horse seven times over. But through the mustache's journey from town to town and Arby's to Arby's, one thing the mustache has yet to see is a WAC win.

Akey and his furry friend failed to earn one last year, losing games to New Mexico State (inexcusable) and Utah State (virtually impossible) along the way to going 0-for-the-conference. The final tally in the first year of the Akey:

• 0-8 conference record
  
• 37 points per game allowed
  
• one Boise State "donkeys" reference
  
• one 58-14 loss to Boise State
  
• 18 instances of throwing hands up in the air as if to say, "What more can I do? Besides teaching fundamentals, I mean."
  

Yet through it all, one thing has remained clear to Akey. This Vandal team is his family.

“I like the way this family is together at this point in time and that is going to be huge,” Akey said. “We’ve got a family here and that is a great thing."

Forget for a moment the ramifications of such smothering statements (recruits want to hear "We have hot coed girls" not "You're like the son I never had") and imagine what love Akey must have in his heart to desire kinship with this ragamuffin group. The Vandals are one of the most dysfunctional teams in the country, so it takes a big man to love them so much. I don't necessarily mean that as a compliment.

At some point in the evolution of Akey's head coaching tenure, he obviously made the decision to take this family thing and run with it. Was his mustache jealous? Most certainly, but a horse-hair ivory brush fixed that. Still, choosing the family angle is a rather unique approach to an undisciplined, untalented bunch. And it leads to some interesting questions:

• Can the players call him Papa Akey?
  
• Does Adam Korby get the birthright?
  
• Who does the chaperoning on dates?
  
• In bed by 10:00? Lights out at 11:00?
  
• What will he say when Shiloh Keo asks why he looks different than Nathan Enderle?

Family vacation to nowhere
With family in tow, Akey is ready to hit the road and go places in the WAC. Too bad Nathan Enderle hates car rides. The Idaho quarterback-by-default-not-by-choice will take the Vandals as far as they will go this year, and he will do so with a blatant disregard for completion percentage.

Enderle, who is perhaps better known for not being Joey Harrington's little brother, was not particularly good last year, which fit in well with the overall theme of the Vandals. He is nothing if not a team player.

If you ask us, Enderle's problem is his inaccuracy, poor decision-making, and ADHD pocket presence. If you ask Robb Akey, Enderle's problem is not having a mustache.

There. Fixed.

Enderle's inadequacies are too bad because the Vandals have a very good running back behind him. Sophomore Deonte Jackson, heretofore referred to as "the offense," has the potential to be the WAC's top runner this season both because he is talented and because he will get an overwhelming amount of touches. The Vandal skill players are short on skill and long on getting tackled easily, so Jackson's game-breaking ability will be much needed. Yes, I know I just said "game-breaking ability."

It was the mustache's idea to put Idaho State on the schedule
The Vandals are always good for at least one Division I-AA team on the schedule. Goodness, if they weren't, they might never win a game. But whereas most D-1 schools breeze through these cupcakes, the Vandals fight and claw and scratch their way to seven-point wins. And boy are they happy about it.

This year's I-AA opponent is Idaho State; the same Idaho State who will lose to the Broncos by 50 points the week prior. After the Bengals, Idaho gets Western Michigan, Utah State, and San Diego State in what, for any other team, would be a super easy stretch. For the Vandals, it will be a perfect opportunity to show how far they have or haven't come. If they can't win two games out of those four, then they might as well fold the program and let Akey's mustache use the Kibbie Dome as its own, personal bachelor pad. Did someone say Kibbie Dome mustache?

We swear we didn't know there was film in the camera
The Vandals have a few things going for them that are entirely new and foreign. For starters, the coaching staff returns in tact (which may or may not be a good thing). Second, there are some good players on the team in Jackson and Korby. Third, the schedule is incredibly easy. Start printing those "2008 Idaho Vandals: 3-9" T-shirts!

But then again, these are the Vandals we are talking about. And they obviously have serious lapses in judgment.

Might this problem manifest itself at the most inappropriate times on the football field? Of course it will, although hopefully they'll keep their shirts on this time. Idaho is bound to blow it once or twice this season; that's what they do best. But it appears that their strategy is to put themselves in situations where screwing up royally doesn't cost the team in the win column. For instance, Nathan Enderle forgetting what an out route is will probably happen in the San Diego State game, but the chances that the Aztecs take advantage of the mistake will be minimal. Their schedule could seriously save them a game or two.

Of course, they stand no chance of beating the Broncos, Bulldogs, or Wolf Pack. But it is becoming increasingly more apparent that the Vandals are not concerned with competing at the top of the WAC. They are concerned about competing somewhere, anywhere.

And that should be good enough for the mustache to see its first WAC win.

University of Idaho big in the UK...

...not that there's anything wrong with that.

Really?!

So Vandal coach and noted mustache-afficionado, Robb Akey, was asked about the recent NCAA sanctions against the University of Idaho that will strip the football team of 8 scholarships in 2008. First, Uncle Robb told mesmerized onlookers how he responded to the NCAA actions:

With dissatisfaction.With determination. And without regret.

Then added, "with fries, please", but was told that he'd have to pull around.

Akey, who is a cross between the dad from Family Ties and the neighbor from Office Space , went on to imply that the NCAA employed a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" framework for punishing offending institutions. This assertion, backed up by Rob Spear's ridiculous spin on the punishment shows that someone up north doesn't get it.

We lost retention and ultimately some eligibility points because we made decisions to protect the character of our athletic program

The punishment is not for kicking criminals off the team, but for having them on the team in the first place...furthermore, to paint every departure from the team as being due to "protecting the character of the athletic program" is just wrong. 7 Vandals were removed from the team for breaking laws or university policies, 5 were removed for sub-par academic progress, and the rest left due to dissatisfaction with the team or injury issues. Again, no one is punishing the university for kicking felons off the team, Rob(b)s, but rather, they are punishing the systematic neglect that has taken place over the last 7-8 years.

Robb Akey is not the reason that most of the bad eggs "found" their way onto the Vandal squad—and no one is accusing him of such. But to subtly accuse the NCAA of taking erroneous actions is sub-moronic. Akey said:

Go visit that campus. It will be very evident whether the coach is the problem, the school is the problem or things are being done to address the situation

Again...what?! No one said you were the problem, Robby...but the university has to answer for low APR regardless of how and when it occurred. If you really want to point the finger of blame, look no further than honcho Rob Spear, who signed, sealed and delivered a who's who of coaching ineptitude, shady fundraising practices, non-qualifiers and JC transfers to your doorstep. Spear is the common denominator in the last few coaching hires and recruit signings. And, oh yeah, the school is the problem.

But nice 'stache.

Statesman article

Oh, sweet irony!

The mighty Idaho Vandals (shown above, with patron saint), who love to live in the past and drag out graduation rates of their rival institutions will themselves be the recipient of sanctions for poor graduation rates on their football and basketball teams (who, coincidentally are among the worst in the country). University officials have confirmed that the Vandal football team has lost 8 scholarships for the upcoming season for academic and "other" reasons. Oddly enough, Idaho's "little brother" institution Boise State faces absolutely no NCAA sanctions for their money sports and has graduation rates that are among the top in the conference. It does look like Boise State will receive a 'public notice' for a poor multiyear cumulative APR (Academic Progress Report) in men's golf. Meh. Spin away, Vandals:

"A decision by the University of Idaho to focus on athlete integrity and character has resulted in some penalties from the National Collegiate Athletic Association,the Moscow university released in a statement."

What?! Oh, we're sorry...we didn't realize it was a too much character penalty.

Bronco fans, the word you are looking for is 'schadenfreude'

LINK

University of Idaho to fans: "@#$% you"

The Vandals' previously slow descent into madness and irrelevance has sped up rapidly in these latter days. The brains at the University of Idaho announced this week that they will not offer single game tickets this season, but instead make "fans" purchase a minimum of two game tickets. Isn't that fun?! And are they just perpetrating this on Idaho "fans"? Nope. They are making anyone wishing to purchase tickets to a game in Moscow do the same...knowing full well that none of those people are going to wish to return to the Krappy Kibbie Dome for another game.

As tempting as it is for Boise State fans to return to Moscow to watch the Vandals lose to Idaho State, I just don't think many will be willing to shell out more cash just to watch the Vandals put up a valiant first quarter effort against the Broncos.

Clearly, this is an attempt to remain in good graces with the Division 1-A attendance gods as Vandal games are about as well attended as a Saddam Hussein wake—but this is going to bite them in the proverbial keister, bank on it. Could it also be that the Vandals are trying to improve their paltry HFA, making darn sure that Vandal fans "greatly" outnumber visiting fans? No visiting fan in their right mind would want to purchase two tickets to the Kibbie Dome, unless there was a dog show there the following weekend. Just when we thought that Rob Spear couldn't get much slimier, right?

So, here's the deal: I say Bronco fans completely boycott that game. Don't give the U of I athletic department a dime for their little scam. Our Broncos don't need a large contingent of fans in Moscow to be able to overcome Robb Akey's "family". Instead, let's all fill up Boise bars and restaurants and watch KTVB's broadcast of the game instead—we'll be injecting more money into our OWN economy and not dealing with drunken fratboys defacing our cars. Whaddya say?

University of Idaho may be throwing up a big middle finger to opponent's fans and their own "fans" alike—well, Idaho...right back at ya!

Care for a Gem State Twin Pack?